Shelter You
by a red burn
Summary: She wants to take a step forward.


Note: prettybutt wanted an office fic so she got an office fic. This is a very silly something that resulted from a prompt in between chapters of my Sarah fanfic.

In which the desk turns into _something more_.

x

_There's no us_. The words echo around in her head, back and forth from the walls of her brain and she wonders if she's now allowed to take a step forward or let the tension boil and sizzle between them. She only has a couple of weeks left before it's time to go. Her feelings scream inside of her, jump and kick as she pretends his warmth doesn't make her lean in just a little too close, his voice doesn't make her eyelids flutter and his look doesn't squeeze her lungs until she's out of breath.

She stands at the door, stares at him in his vest and loose tie and head hung low as he studies the papers in front of him. He's been looking tired lately, growing older right before her eyes and she wonders if telling him will be worth the pain. She can't decide which is more unfair, to tell him how deep her feelings go and abandon him as he holds on to her for almost three decades or never say a word and let things settle as they are, both of them miserable and unhappy and unloved, but free.

Audrey knocks gently on the open door even if she knows she doesn't need permission to come in. "Hey," he looks up immediately, a smile playing at his lips and his focus is now on her. "Are you busy?"

"No, just checking some stuff out." Nathan pushes the chair back and stands, moving around the desk to lean against it as Audrey enters the office and closes the door behind her. "What's up?"

She takes a peek at the dozen case files on his desk, papers strewn across the entire surface and words such as _Meteor Shower_, _Bolt Gun Killer_ and _The Colorado Kid_ pop up here and there. Her heart almost bleeds out at this and she wants to forget everything, to take his hand and drive somewhere so far away nobody will recognize them. The way he refuses to give up on her even when she's already given up weights heavily on her chest.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Is something wrong?" His spine goes rigid almost immediately, he stands to attention and his whole posture screams worry.

Audrey feels silly for making this seem more than she wants it to because telling someone you love them shouldn't be so difficult; and regrets the decision as soon as the words are out. She can't remember the last time she asked him if he could spare her a moment because they have always simply _talked_. "No. You know what, it's no big deal. Never mind. I can talk to you later. Go back to working… whatever you were working on."

And she turns around to dash out of the office but is stopped by Nathan's hand on her arm. No skin to skin contact because she's wearing a long sleeved shirt, but she still can feel the soft pressure of his fingers around her wrist and that makes her stop.

"Audrey." Her names comes out in a soft melody, a flickering warning and she closes her eyes at the proximity and how he lets go of her arm as quickly as if he's been burned. And as she looks back at him his eyes are searching for her attention, begging her to not close herself off again and for a moment she loses her train of thought.

She doesn't want this anymore, this emotional distance, the way she's always thinking twice before talking to him, the way she doesn't feel like it's appropriate to invade his personal space anymore, to enter his office as if she belongs there, to make fun of him as if they have known each other for lifetimes instead of months. When have they turned into familiar strangers? She _hates_ it. She wants the smiles back, the inside jokes, the familiarity of being with each other without having to say a word, without feeling tense and awkward trying to fill the silent moments with random words. She wants to be in love with him again without the burden of the world on the shoulders.

"I love you," it comes out, just like that, as simple as Claire had told her it would be and she isn't even anxious because she knows he returns the feeling, she's just terrified of what is going to happen now. The truth is out and the burden has become heavier because now she's responsible for him too.

He stands there for a moment, perplexed, as if he never expected to hear the words and she berates herself for treating him so badly, for pushing him away when she knew how much it hurt. He had done things he never wanted to, turned darker, angrier, using people and joining cults and becoming a different man because no matter how much she shut him out he refused to let go. Audrey feels the tears fill the corner of her eyes but she refuses to let them spill out. She had wasted so much damn time for nothing. She had hurt him for nothing. And now she's close to going away and having only a few days to spend with him.

"I'm so sor-" Her words are cut short when his lips crash on top of hers and her body responds to the feel of him almost automatically. Her lips part for him and her arms sneak around his shoulders, fingers slid into his hair and she feels him shiver under her touch. He smiles into her mouth. "I'm going to take that as in you return the sentiment."

"I love you," he says, pulls her closer and rests his forehead against hers. "I've been in love with you since… I don't even remember anymore."

She pulls back enough to look him in the eyes and she's sure the smile crossing his face is a mirror image of hers. "I have an idea." Little gifts on her desk, taunting mysteries about her past, awkward jokes, badly hidden jealous behavior; it's not like she never noticed, but Audrey always chose to ignore the signs. Maybe that's why she fell for him, because she tried so hard not to. Trust over love, and they have plenty of that.

Nathan lays siege upon her mouth again, pushes her back until she's pressed against the desk, and Audrey helps him by pulling herself up, her legs locking around his hips and she swipes the surface of the desk and sits on the edge of it. Warmth pools in the bottom of her stomach as he kisses his way down his jaw, her neck, the hollow between her neck and shoulder, licking and nipping at her skin.

Audrey splays her hand on the back of his neck, fingertips pressing against his skin as she closes her eyes to the sensation of having Nathan's mouth warm over her body. She's short of breath by the time his lips go back to hers and lets him kiss her with the passion and desire he's been holding back for months. When his hands pull her shirt from under her waist pants and his palms flatten against her sides her toes curl and she sighs. His hands slide up, fingertips scratching her skin as his tongue dips inside, kissing her hard and deep and when his hands find her breasts and squeeze them gently, almost as if he's silently asking for permission, Audrey does a sharp intake of breath.

She needs him. _Now_.

She takes her hands from around him and pulls his tie loose almost violently, undoing the buttons of his vest with desperation and need as her heartbeat is frantic between her legs. She can feel him hard pressing against her and Audrey is shaking with the anticipation and before she can realize what's going on her shirt is already unbuttoned and Nathan's kissing the swell of each breast, her nipples becoming hard against her bra. She can't stop the moan that slips through her lips as he presses his hips against her and she has no choice but grind him. "Nathan…"

But before he can reply or do much more than _try_ to undo the button of her jeans there's a knock on the door and they jump apart startled almost as if cold water has just been thrown over them. Audrey pulls her shirt close, berating herself for losing her good sense.

"Chief?"

"_Shit!_" Her eyes widen as she stares at him, the expletive coming out in a whispered hiss, and watches as Nathan tries to compose himself. She wants to smile at the way his face is flushed, all tousled hair and breathing hard and eyelids pressed together.

"Just a moment!" His voice almost fails and all Audrey wants to do is burst into hysterics even as she wishes a hole would open up and swallow her in. Nathan's eyes find hers and this time she does smile, wondering if her face's glowing as much as his.

Audrey quickly buttons her shirt back up as he fixes his own clothes and hopes that they don't look like murder suspects caught on the act as much as she thinks they do. "Your hair."

Nathan does a poor job of patting his hair down and Audrey wonders how soon the gossip will spread around town. "Sorry."

She shakes her head as she moves to the door hoping she looks presentable enough and less of a culprit. She pretends she doesn't have a hard time walking when the pressure between her legs is killing her slowly. _Damnit_. "My place? Tonight."

Nathan nods, almost lost, with the look on his face he gets every time she catches him by surprise. "Tonight."

She opens the door to find Stan standing there, a curious expression all over his face and Audrey hopes the heat she feels burning her cheeks isn't making them red. She can't even look him in the eye and she moves past him out of the office. "Hey Stan."

Tonight. She hopes this time there _will_ be pancakes.


End file.
